Saturday, March 9, 2013

Seeing LIfe In A Negative Light is an Affliction

If you saw someone drowning, what would you do?  Would you run away?  Call for help?  Jump in and try to save them?  That's kind of how I view people who behave negatively: drowning in a sea of negativity.  What it would be like to live a life seeing everything in the negative?  The Eeyore existence where everything is "woe is me"? How awful, how HORRIBLE, would that be??  I actually have difficulty breathing just thinking about it as it feels like an oppressive darkness.  When you think about it, it's really kind of like a disease.  We think because something is in the brain, we can control it.  "Just think more positively!"  "Be more positive!"  "Be happier!"  Well, for some people, that's not an easy thing to do.  But there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of interest in that perspective.

It would seem there is a whole campaign where there are t-shirts, and coffee mugs, and bumper stickers that says "Mean People Suck".  I think that is sooooooo ironic.  What is the antonym for mean?  Nice.  Generous.  Kind.  Unselfish.  So, if you say "Mean People Suck", are you being nice, generous, kind, or unselfish?  Kinda sounds like they're being mean about being mean!  

A word that came up at my house last night was "self- righteous"  I don't have a lot of patience for "self-rightious" behavior.  Wait...does that make me self-rightous?, because I don't think I'm better than people who are.  It's just not something I care to spend a lot of time doing or partaking in for that matter.  There will always be self-righteous people.   Self-righteous just seems to feed the ego more than the collective good.  We are all given different gifts and talents and, like in nature, everyone and everything serves a purpose.

I feel I have been given a gift.  I have a heart that lets in life's positive moments as they present themselves.  I mean, I don't always see things in a positive way (some days can seem pretty gloomy which is why friends are so great to give your perspective (or bitch-slap you and say "SNAP OUTTOFIT!":) )) but I have been given a heart by the grace of God, nature, and all the wonderful people in my life that show me with great enthusiasm all that I have rather than what I don't have.  Part of it has been conditioning.  And,  I think the series of events leading me up to this point in my life has allowed me to think positively.  It hasn't all been sunshine and roses but I've been given a gift to see the light when all seems in darkness.  It is a gift.  

A gift is something that is given.  Because, you can have another person with similar circumstances who just can't see any good in anything.  Why?  Why do some struggle more than others?  Why do some find it so hard to come out of the darkness and into the light?  Why can I open my heart to let in that light while so many shut it out?  I don't think it is a known thing.  Maybe for those that dwell in darkness, that is the devil they know.  To open your heart takes faith.  And faith is something that needs to be cultivated.

We all have our struggles.  But, like the old Irish wisdom, "If you hung your troubles on a line with everyone else's, chances are you'd take your own back down."  Each person is an individual and we can never fully understand what another person is feeling any more than we can understand what their voice sounds like in their own head.  

So, when you meet someone who is mean, or a real downer, or "negative", what do you do?  Well, if you listened to the posts on FB and in media, you run away screaming, arms flailing!  I just did a search engine search on "Negative people" and here are some of the images that came up: 
"I am allergic to negative people"
"How to deal with negative people: Ignore, Ignore, Ignore
"Surgeon General's Warning: Hanging Around Negative People Is Hazardous To Your Health"
"Avoid negative people for they are the greatest destroyers of self confidence and self esteem."
"I hate negative people" [my personal favorite]

When did another person become responsible for the way I feel?  I mean, I think if you were in Guantanamo Bay, they would find ways to break you, but seriously?  When did we become puppets?  I pull my own strings, thank you very much.  If I feel bad about something, it's because I let myself feel bad about something.  We have lost all accountability for ourselves.  

So, after all is said and done would I go and find friends that can only see dark, negative things? I don't think so.  Would I find a partner who is abusive?  Not likely.  But I do recognize people like that need help.  And their hurt and darkness is no part anything to do with my existence but what happens in their own minds, bodies, spirits.  

So, the issue of negative people isn't the fact that they are negative.  It's how the environment deals with it.  Negative people can't make you negative any more than loving cats can make you into a cat.  However, you can become negative (if you're not already) if you don't feel good about yourself.  Confident.  Humble.  Courageous.  Compassionate.  Rather than avoiding negative people (which will be present always), focus on strengthening you.  Your soul.  Your mental being.  When you feel good about who you are, are at peace with yourself, there is nothing anyone can do or say that will take that away.  

Some people are so deep in the mire of emotional darkness they will try to draw you in.  So why let them?  What if you were the one to draw them to light?  Would it hurt to try?  Well, if you weren't a strong swimmer and you were trying to save someone from  drowning, you very well may go down with them.  So there are options.  You can find someone who is qualified to offer them assistance or you can work on yourself to be stronger swimmer.  But it's important to realize, no matter how hard you try, no matter how many life rings are thrown, that person may still drown.  But at least you did your part.  

No comments:

Post a Comment