Good Tuesday Morning!
So, I was thinking about how I am a person of affirmation. Saying things to my kids, and people around
me, that are positively affirming. But
if you don't believe it yourself, does it really mean much? I mean, it's certainly nice to hear
compliments and kind things - I love it! - but when you doubt yourself can
something someone else says really bolster you if you're just not believing it
yourself?
My mother, my WHOLE life, has described me as
beautiful. "Isn't she
beautiful?" I am NOT fishing for
compliments here, because I've always had difficulty seeing myself in that
light. I see myself as kind of peculiar
looking, yet nothing terribly remarkable.
And that's okay! As I've gotten
older, I've become accustomed to my face.
J But I never thought I was
"beautiful" no matter how many times my mother told me, or anyone
around me.
So, why would I, someone who could not relate to something
as simple as that, be one who believes in positive affirmation? Because, when we are at our lowest, it is
nice to hear that someone else loves us?
Someone else appreciates us in a way we can’t appreciate ourselves? I would agree with that. But there is a need for more.
So here’s my goal. I
don’t go out in the world and just say to a stranger “Oh, I love your dress” or
“nice shoes” (well, I DO say that too but I’m getting to my point!); when I say
I like something about a person what does that really mean? That “I” like something about that person. But what really matters is what does that person
like about himself or herself?
So, I’ve begun to more actively focus on admiration and a
person’s ability. I say to my kids (this
was just yesterday): “Ooooo, I like the way you solved that problem. You are turning into a great problem solver. Would you help me with a problem some
time?” It’s not enough to just pay
compliments. I mean, of course it’s
nice! I love to hear nice things! Compliments, and kindness, are the threads
that keep us connected in the light.
What keeps our relationships full of life. I just think, sometimes it is important to
take it to the next level; to empower someone.
To offer a connection between the person with whom you are engaging and
their gifts. I think that is one of the
keys to helping someone realize his or her full potential.
At the end of the day, what does it matter what I think of your
shoes, or dress, or façade? What matters
most is what is going on in your head.
What YOU think of you.
That has been one of my focuses when I write my daily notes and
cards; to emphasize my addressee’s talents and how they have directly impacted
my life.
We are all connected to one another whether we like it or
not. But how are you connected to
yourself? How do you influence you? How do you see you?
I think you are beautiful.
I’m talking to each of you.
Because I’m pretty sure the person reading this is human (well, monkeys ARE
getting smarter and smarter!) and therefore a child of God, nature, the
Universe - however you want to see it. I
hope you know you are beautiful; not just because I told you so, but because
you believe it with every fiber of your being; that you know you have your own
meaning and place in this grand design.
“You are important, and what you do, MATTERS!” J
Peace.
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