Living God

Posted on FB by Michelle Cameron who got it from her father-in-law.  So grateful to have people who share kindness and compassion and show others how, too.  

His name is Bill. He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it, jeans, and no shoes. This was literally his wardrobe for his entire four years of college.

He is brilliant. Kind of profound and very, very bright. He became a Christian while attending college.

Across the street from the campus is a well-dressed, very conservative church. They want to develop a ministry to the students but are not sure how to go about it.

One day Bill decides to go there. He walks in with no shoes, jeans, his T-shirt, and wild hair. The service has already started and so Bill starts down the aisle looking for a seat.

The church is completely packed and he can't find a seat. By now, people are really looking a bit uncomfortable, but no one says anything.

Bill gets closer and closer and closer to the pulpit, and when he realizes there are no seats, he just squats down right on the carpet.

By now the people are really uptight, and the tension in the air is thick.

About this time, the minister realizes that from way at the back of the church, a deacon is slowly making his way toward Bill.

Now the deacon is in his eighties, has silver-gray hair, and a three-piece suit. A godly man, very elegant, very dignified, very courtly. He walks with a cane and, as he starts walking toward this boy, everyone is saying to themselves that you can't blame him for what he's going to do.

How can you expect a man of his age and of his background to understand some college kid on the floor?

It takes a long time for the man to reach the boy.

The church is utterly silent except for the clicking of the man's cane. All eyes are focused on him. You can't even hear anyone breathing. The minister can't even preach the sermon until the deacon does what he has to do.

And now they see this elderly man drop his cane on the floor. With great difficulty, he lowers himself and sits down next to Bill and worships with him so he won't be alone..

Everyone chokes up with emotion. When the minister regains control, he says, "What I'm about to preach, you will never remember. What you have just seen, you will never forget. "

"Be careful how you live. You may be the only Bible some people will ever read!"

I asked the Lord to bless you
As I prayed for you today.
To guide you and protect you
As you go along your way....
His love is always with you,
His promises are true,
And when we give Him all our cares,
You know He will see us through.

Are You Happy?

 Are you happy?  What dictates your happiness?

Last night a friend of mine said "I read your posts and wish I could be as happy as you."  Well, thanks to this magic potion I traded my cow for, I have unending happiness - ahahahahaha!!!  But seriously folks: turns out, my happiness, and my suffering, is self inflicted.  And it's been a slow learning process!!  

The funny thing is I don't think I'm any happier than when I was a young mom living in a 1-bedroom apartment, sustaining life paycheck to paycheck.  My life now isn't all sunshine and lollipops.  I have conflicts with my kids, I argue with my husband, I witness daily travesties and injustices on varying scales; I encounter angry people, sad people, unpleasant people just as much as the next person.  I tried for years to change my circumstances.  If I could get my husband to see things this way, get my kids to do that instead of this; avoid all the negative people or show what they have to be thankful for!!  If I could just control my environment, I would be exponentially happy!!  




Then, one day I heard a quote that struck me:

"Nothing has changed except my attitude.  And that is everything!" .Anthony DeMello 

What does that mean??  I started to look at things in a new way.  It's not what others do but the way I see it.  This was a huge shift as I suddenly saw life as in a way that all responsibility fell on my shoulders.  This was a little overwhelming!  But I so wanted to change my attitude because if I saw things in a new way, I would have more peace?  Be happier, right?  And so it began: if my kids were misbehaving, it was because I wasn't dealing with the situation effectively.  If my husband and I were arguing, it was because I wasn't communicating effectively.  If I was angry at another driver for almost hitting me, I wasn't processing the information effectively.  It was exhausting!!  While I was trying to change my environment, I was still trying to control my environment by putting myself in the martyr seat.  So in taking on this HUGE responsibility of it all being the way I look at it, I was becoming passive aggressive, without even realizing it!!  Out of the frying pan and into the proverbial frickin' fire!  I was still making it all about me!

So, one day I'm at the pediatrician and I'm trying to explain to my son where to find the bathroom down the hall: "The door on the opposite wall.  Across the hall.  There's only one door on that wall!  Where are you looking???  Ben!!  OPPOSITE wall!  Why are you looking at the ceiling?!!"  I felt I was once again failing in my communication skills and not effectively dealing with the situation.  When the doctor came in, it seemed to me that I had made a small scene in the process and I went into a lengthy apology: "I'm so sorry for that; I was trying to communicate the needs and it wasn't coming out effectively and I didn't handle the situation well."  (Look at me being all responsible for my own actions!)  To this the doctor replies: "Well, all I can say is...get over it!  So what's happening with Ben today...."  I was so hyper-focused on my behavior, I had lost sight of my behavior! 

Now, I'm not saying this process was all for not; this actually got me through a heavy door called "ego".  

Here are some definitions of ego (dictionary.com):

noun, plural e·gos.

1.

the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.

2.

Psychoanalysis . the part of the psychic apparatus that experiences and reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social and physical environment.

3.

egotism; conceit; self-importance: Her ego becomes more unbearable each day.

4.

self-esteem or self-image; feelings: Your criticism wounded his ego.

5.

( often initial capital letter  ) Philosophy .

a.

the enduring and conscious element that knows experience.

b.

Scholasticism. the complete person comprising both body and soul.

The recurring theme here is the self as a separate being from others: me vs. you.  So, this process of transitioning from thinking in a "me vs. you" way to a "we" way reminding me of learning to drive.  Everything in the beginning has be very deliberate and well thought out: "Turn on my signal, look in my mirror, shoulder check, slowly advance out in to traffic..." and so on.  Who does that now?  We do it but do we actually THINK about it?  No.  So now I had a solid idea of how my ego (me-me-me) plays into my life.  And, let's face it; ego has a place but it doesn't play well with global peace!  But that's another conversation for another time.

A while back I was using my friends restroom and she had the Serenity Prayer hung beside the sink.  I’ve read that prayer a million times.  As I was driving along, a few days after my doctor-reality-smack, for some reason it popped into my head:

My happiness or suffering doesn't lie in the hands of others.  It is in my own hands.  If I don't like something.  Do something about it.  How I influence any situation is up to me.  Will I solve the problem?  Will I bend the actions of others to do my bidding?  Will I change anything?  I don't know.  All I can do is put it out there.  Accept that I have done everything I can to have a positive influence on the outcome.  It may not get me where I was thinking I wanted to go but peace comes not from outside actions but from within.

I had not come to peace when I was "taking responsibility" for my own actions.  I was still trying to change everything around me by convincing myself I was responsible for what happens.  How very important I am, thought I in a very self-important way!  

Where I am now, on this ongoing journey of discovery, is that I have a choice how to see things.  And the filter I am conditioning myself to apply to any situation is one of compassion, understanding, and peaceful solutions.  Does it always work?  Nope.  I still have an ego!  I still don't understand why people think one way rather than my way, but I'm trying to take it to the next level.  

In researching items to fill in the holes in this essay, I found this:

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Gandhi

The amount of peace and suffering we experience daily is an inside job.  If you are at peace with yourself, it matters not what happens around you.  With peace inside you can see that other's suffering has nothing to do with you.  I mean this not in an insensitive way; but when someone else is suffering, and we make it about us, about our suffering, that's the ego doing the translating.  

The ego is a powerful thing!  Don't get me started on religion and world wars and so on, and so on.  The ego is a BIG figure here!  

So, am I happy?  Sure!  Am I happier than you?  I doubt it.  I'm just working on developing the gift we've all been given; to see what I have as opposed to what I have not.  It's never-ending, this process.  But it's making this life journey so much more enjoyable!  And putting joy out there, makes me happy too.  Potentially a win-win!  I hope you find your happy today.

Courage and Confidence!

Notes from a Mary Kay Speaker.  Awesome!!

Confidence Builders

Taking Action:

1. Be present in the moment.  Focus on breathing and what trying to do. Be calm.

2. Lighten up!  You are creating the obstacles.

3. Really, really want it.  Look forward to it!

Mine: truly believe in what you're talking about.

Facing your Fear:

Do the thing you think you cannot do.  Do it. Don't tell yourself, do it.

How to do this? Be curious.  Your perceptions wash away. It opens you up!

Remember an experience of what you got something new.

Fear is often based on unhelpful interpretations. Don't take your thoughts too seriously. Breathe. Get out of your head!

Facing Fear - failing teaches you if you are willing to learn.

Failing can only be learned from first hand. Must be experienced by you.

Failure brings strength - you become desensitized.

Try try again. People really don't care that much. Don't build things up beyond what it is.

Know yourself and what you want.

"The world makes room for men..."(look up)

Look inside yourself!  Relax. What do you love? Stop asking "What if?!!"  Unless its leading you toward you rather than away.

Understand in what order things happen

Courage comes after the action.

Progressive desensitization.  The more you do it, the less fear.

Key to self confidence: prepare yourself.

Confidence comes from Not fearing to be wrong. Rejection doesn't actually hurt you.

Inner Peace - Not Outer Peace

Today's theme seems to be a recurring in all the things I do and read.  Hmmmm... intereseting.

Stumbled across this quote (well, really stumbled across the knowledge it was Fred Roger's birthday and then looked him up soooo...):

“When I say it's you I like, I'm talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.” 
― Fred Rogers


What a great man.  There is a whole page of quotes by Mr. Rogers.

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/32106.Fred_Rogers


I'm a bit disconnected today because I have a lot of things to do but just wanted to take a moment to share what I did with others.

This picture came up in my feed by, I believe, Sun Gazer.

While I love the Dalai Lama, I wonder if this quote was actually him or if it was taken out of context.  While beautiful, it struck me a bit odd.  Here is what I had to say about it:

"If you have actual inner peace, you don't let behaviors of others destroy it, you see the behaviors of others for what it is: nothing to do with you. From there you can use your peace and pray for the behavior of others and use compassion. The root of inner peace."

Inner peace is something that comes from within.  It is not a result of the environment around us.  It is in all of us be gets buried by all the pride, ego, and self-centeredness that is also in all of us.

Doing my daily meditation (Day 3 with Deepak Chopra!) the theme was "My Mind And Body Are In Perfect Sync".  Yes, they are.  But what kind of sync?  I want peace.  When I feel peace in my mind, I feel peace in my body.  And vice versa.  When I can let go of what I think the rest of the universe is doing to me and and see me as how I effect my universe, there is much empowerment, humility, and peace.

I asked the question on FB,

 When do YOU know you are stressed? How does your body respond? How do you work through it?

Nobody has actually answered this question. Maybe lead with that next time?  But really, I just hope that some people give it some thought, even if they don't write it in my feed.  Planting the seed is all I can do.

Peace to you!!

You Are Lucky!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!  Yesterday, thanks to the gorgeous weather we're having, I pulled out my summer attire.  As I'm pulling on my shorts this morning (to go with my shamrock knee socks) it seemed odd to me that it seems much of my summer attire has SHRUNK while in storage!!  Which brought me to my next thought: being fit has little to do with luck.  You may have genetic predispositions that put you in the "lucky" (high metabolism) or "unlucky" (sluggish thyroid) categories but here are the 5 things I need to be fit: regular cardio AND strength training (yes ladies; we need to lift those weights!), regular hydration, adequate amounts and regular patterns of sleep, enough food energy (enough food to keep your body working efficiently - too much and you gain weight; too little and you hold on to every calorie that comes into your body!),  and last, but not least, inner peace!  Yes!  Peace!  Cortisol, also known as your "stress hormone" can really play havoc on your system if not kept in check.    Here is an interesting article on cortisol:

http://stress.about.com/od/stressmanagementglossary/g/Cortisol.htm

Cortisol: How It Relates To Stress

By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com Guide

Updated February 22, 2012

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board

See More About:

• cortisol
• understanding stress
• chronic stress
• stress and health
• effects of stress

Cortisol, The Stress Hormone

Photo From iStockPhoto.com

Definition: Cortisol is a hormone produced by the adrenal glands that helps regulate blood pressure and cardiovascular function, as well as the body's use of proteins, carbohydrates and fats. Cortisol secretion increases in response to physical and psychological stress during thefight or flight response, which is why it's sometimes called "the stress hormone."

Because of its involvement in the body's stress response, cortisol levels are among the most popular used to measure the presence and intensity of stress in various situations. Cortisol in itself is not harmful, and is in fact a vital part of the body's healthy functioning. However, during times of chronic stress, the body can experience elevated levels of cortisol, which can have negative short-term and long-term ramifications for health. (Read this for more on cortisol.)

Because of the damage that elevated cortisol levels and long-term stress can do, it's vital to have an effective stress management plan that includes multiple layers of stress relief strategies. Take advantage of these stress management resources for short-term and long-term stress management help, and see this resource for stress management basics.

Also Known As: "The stress hormone"

Stress Management Basics

• What Is Stress?
• Fast Stress Relief
• The Simplest Technique

Reducing Your Stress

• Meditation
• 25 Stress Relievers to Try
• Stress Management Blog

Ongoing Resources for Stress Relief

• Free Weekly Newsletter
• Free Stress Tests
• Ongoing Stress Management Resources

In the mean time, be at peace by brothers and sisters and luck will find you!  Have a great day! 

Broken Pieces Salvaged

Yesterday, my husband, Steve, brought me my recently mended New York City spoon-rest.  I used to take such gestures for granted.  Until I realized his "Love Language" is acts of service.  That's how he shows love.
I got the spoon rest on my first trip to NYC in November 2010 when I went with my mom and two sisters for my mother's 75th birthday.  It was a WONDERFUL trip.
Steve had given me my first iPhone at the time as an early birthday present so I would have an easier time getting around the island (though my sister insisted on taking out her life-size accordion map to navigate our way!!).  A few months later I was cleaning the stove top upon which the spoon rest lay.  In that one swift motion I had inadvertently launched that ceramic reminder into cosmic orbit, destined for certain doom.  It broke.  There lay my homage to NYC yellow cab drivers and our harrowing experiences there in, in 4 pieces.  I was greatly disappointed.  I lay the pieces on the counter thinking I would dispose of them properly in cardboard (my oldest still bearing a puncture scar in his thigh from a less-than-well-disposed glass piece that poked through a garbage bag and into his leg years ago), only to return later and it was gone.  I assumed my husband had chucked it away (not in cardboard and therefore would be on the lookout for stabbing garbage bags!).  The next day, I came in to the kitchen and there on my counter lay the recently assembled spoon rest, glued together by my loving husband.  He knew how much I loved that spoon-rest.  Or, at least the wonderful, crazy memories it brought me.  Then I broke it again.  And he fixed it again.  Then the glue gave out.  He fixed it again.  The glue gave out again.  And this time he brought it to me and said "This time I epoxy'd it!"
My husband is not perfect.  And neither am I.  But, when it comes down to brass tax, through all of our broken times, I take great comfort in knowing he is always willing to fix things when he knows it means a lot to me.  I know it's a silly little thing but, as I spied the once-again reassembled spoon rest beside my desk, I felt an overwhelming love for that man, my husband.  He shows his love in acts of service.  When I think of all the things he has done for me over the years I see how much he truly loves me.  We may not always get the love that we prefer, but when we recognize that someone is showing love in the best way they know how, it means the world.

Courageous and Compassionate

On my trip to DC, I ended up rooming with a wonderful lady who I came to know as a real kindred spirit.  Her vision is so rooted in love, I was inspired by her kindness and compassion, and the humanity and humility of her daily struggles.  She brought new perspectives to me and broadened ones I already had.  We spoke of what our purpose is and how we best impact the world around us.  She shared with me what I thought to be a great act of courage - she spoke against a good friend's negative and damning religious views.  I wondered if I could be so courageous.

While touring the Capital Building, we saw numerous depictions of courageous people including the recently unveiled statue of Rosa Parks, now among great people and presidents in the nation's Capital Building.  I was overwhelmed with awe by the courage of this one woman who, quite literally, took a stand by simply sitting down and refusing to move.  Shortly after, I was at the Library of Congress and was discussing this reaction I had with one of the employees who happened to be African American; I told her how emotional I became when I saw this wonderful honor showed to Rosa Parks.  She looked genuinely shocked and asked why.  I told her, when I look at Rosa Parks I see her as a symbol of such incredible strength and courage; she was one person (just like her and me!) who chose to say "no more", even while knowing the possible negative personal consequences of her actions;  she spoke for all those who needed to be spoken for.  That sort of courage is something I am searching for in my own self.  I think the woman may have been shocked that a white woman was so moved but, as I opened up, we shared a moment of unity in admiration of the display of one single woman who showed such incredible humanity and courage.  

Courage is about doing what is not easy; doing what some are reluctant to do because of the possible negative consequences.  But when courage is rooted in love, it bring a light to the world like no other.  Compassion is courageous.  We were a large group traveling with 18 kids the ages of 10 and 11 and they could be pretty scattered!  I observed some people who were clearly on a path to get where they needed to get, regardless of what they had to do to get it.  But most people we encountered were kind, courteous, and not just a little compassionate.  I mean, they weren't pulling children from burning buildings or donating a kidney, but they chose a higher form of thinking: kindness and compassion.  These actions fuel the greater good that includes all of us.  In opposition is intolerance, impatience, and unkindness which serves one: the individual ego.  Each of those small acts of those individual persons added up to a create a better - more compassionate - world to live in.

During our magnificent trip, my new friend shared with me this wonderful quote.  It is by Marianne Williamson from her book A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’  Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Courage isn't about being better than others; it is about taking the chance of being the best you are and, by doing so, affording others the inspiration to do the same.  Olympic gold medalists aren’t great because they beat everyone else; they’re great because they are an example of what hard work and determination can accomplish; that a personal best, above all else, is possible. 

Another great quote my friend shared with me:

“The mediocre teacher tells.  The good teacher explains.  The superior teacher demonstrates.  The great teacher inspires.”  ~William Arthur Ward

Being courageous, being the best “you” you can be, that is what inspires.  This is applicable on so many levels.  From day to day contact with others, to how we lead our children as parents, to how we influence those we work with.  But, as I said to one of the kids on our trip who was often leading some of the other boys down a dark path: "You are a great leader, I can see that by how others listen to you.  You are a very important person; never think that you're not because you really, really are!  And what you do, matters.  You may think "I'm just a 10 year old kid", but you influence others in everything you do.  And that's a wonderful thing!  But just be aware of how you want to be that influence; do you want to use it for the power of good or of the power of evil."  At first he seemed reluctant to listen but at the end, I could see in his eyes, he was thinking about it.  He smiled and nodded his head and then got back in line.  Did he hear me?  I don't know.  But knowing that we are important and influence our surroundings can be incredibly empowering.  

The whole trip was full of great examples of courageous people; Washington, Lincoln, MLK, Rosa Parks, just to name a few.  They are great because they acted in courage - they had faith - that proved to benefit the greater good.  But courage requires a leap of faith.  I recently learned that when Martin Luther King Jr. received the call about Rosa Parks and was asked to speak on her behalf, his first reaction was (as I understand it) "Let me think about it."  The next morning he called up and said "What do you need me to do."  Sometimes courage doesn't come in an instant.  Sometimes, like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, we must ask, is this really what I must do?  Courage comes in many forms and in different times.  

As I discussed with my friend, we are all moving in the same direction.  And there is only one relevant direction: forward.  But each of us has to either consciously or subconsciously decide how to live our lives.  Do we live quietly and think "The suffering of others has nothing to do with me" or do we take that first step of faith and decide to create a world where we are courageously kind, compassionate, and loving?  I hope to be influenced by these great leaders and the everyday humble and kind - both show inspiring elements of courage.  And, through these great inspirations, perhaps I too can inspire another person to live courageously in love and compassion.